


falling for the first time

by chaotic_carisi



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 05:07:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30050364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaotic_carisi/pseuds/chaotic_carisi
Summary: “I was trying to think about the first time I knew.” Sonny looked down at his hands, suddenly feeling nervous.“Knew what?” Rafael edged closer to Sonny, not sure what to expect.“When I was in love with you.”
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32





	falling for the first time

“What is it?” Rafael asked, looking over his book to where Sonny lay on his lap and pushing his hair back from his forehead.

“What’s what?” Sonny asked, staring at the ceiling. 

Rafael sighed, putting his book down. “You’re making that face again.”

Sonny sat up, confused. “What face?” 

“You know, that face you make when you want to ask me something but you’re nervous.” Rafael couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “It’s very adorable.” Sonny blushed, only making Rafael smile more. “So, what are you thinking about?”

“I was trying to think about the first time I knew.” Sonny looked down at his hands, suddenly feeling nervous. 

“Knew what?” Rafael edged closer to Sonny, not sure what to expect. 

“When I was in love with you.” He kept his eyes down, still trying to figure out when that moment really was. 

Rafael reached out, taking Sonny’s hand in his own, feeling an overwhelming rush of love for the man in front of him. “And could you remember when that was?” 

Sonny shook his head, sighing. “There are too many moments to choose from.”

“Like when?” Rafael asked, curious as to when Sonny really had known. 

Sonny thought for a moment. “I guess that day in court was one of them.”

\--

Sonny watched Rafael from the edge of his seat, hands clasped as he willed the jury to make the right decision. He had seen how hard Rafael had worked on this case, and could only imagine how horrible he would feel if all that work was for nothing. He held his breath as the lead juror stood up, and felt the rush of relief when he announced that they found the defendant guilty. His heart pounded in his chest when Rafael turned to look at him, a look of relief and pride on his own face. 

“You did great!” Sonny said once the court was empty and he was finally alone with Rafael. Without saying anything, Rafael pressed himself against Sonny, burying his face into his chest while Sonny wrapped his arms around him. “Hey, are you alright?”

“I’m just glad it’s over.” Rafael muttered, his voice muffled. 

Sonny kissed Rafael’s forehead, hugging him for a few more seconds before asking, “How about dinner?” 

“Dinner sounds nice.”

\--

“Really?” Rafael looked at Sonny, a little confused. 

“Yeah.” Sonny shrugged, still combing through his thoughts. “I mean, there are other times that could’ve been the first time as well.”

Rafael leaned back, waiting to hear more of Sonny’s memories. 

“Remember when you helped me study for the bar?” Rafael nodded, remember the very long nights before Sonny sat the dreaded exam. 

\--

Sonny scrunched up another piece of paper, tossing it to the growing pile. “It’s no good, Rafi. I’m never going to be a lawyer.” He began shuffling his notes around again, looking for the right ones. 

“Hey! You’re gonna be a great lawyer, okay?” Rafael pulled Sonny’s shoulder, forcing him to turn and look at him. “You’re gonna pass the bar, okay, you’re gonna get through this, I promise.” 

“Doubtful.” Sonny muttered, wishing he could just crawl into bed and forget about the exam. Rafael frowned, then pressed his lips to Sonny’s, knowing it wasn’t enough to get rid of the exam stress, but not sure of what else to do. 

Sonny smiled as Rafael pulled back, feeling better. 

Rafael picked up 3 of Sonny’s sheets of notes, checking them and scribbling extra points before handing them back to Sonny. “Read over these, and you’ll be fine for the bar.”

“You think so?” Sonny glanced at the notes, still not feeling confident. 

“Sonny, you’ve been studying non-stop for months. You’re going to do great.” He stood up, yawning as he stepped over Sonny’s pile of paper. “I believe in you, my love. Please, try and get some sleep tonight, you’ll need it.” He called as he made his way into the bedroom, leaving Sonny unable to think about anything other than Rafael for a few minutes.

\--

“If I knew that, I would’ve helped you study a lot more often.” Rafael joked, watching as Sonny stood up, pulling off his Fordham sweater and leaving it on the bed before picking up an empty coffee mug from early that morning and taking it through to the kitchen. 

“What about you?” Sonny called from the kitchen while Rafael pulled his Fordham sweater on, letting the familiar scent of freshly baked bread and hair gel surround him. 

“What about me what?” He called back, voice muffled by Sonny’s sweater. 

Sonny grinned as he walked back into the bedroom, the sight of Rafael in his sweater filling him with butterflies. He climbed into bed next to him, wrapping his arm around Rafael. “When did you know you loved me?”

Rafael grinned. “I knew the first time you brought me coffee.”

Sonny thought for a moment. “The first time I- Rafi, we weren’t even dating then!”

Rafael just laughed. “I know, but you got my order right without asking, plus you looked really cute.” He kissed Sonny’s cheek as he blushed. “I loved you then, before I even had a chance to know you, and I love you now, more than ever.” 

“I love you too.” Sonny said, then, “What does it feel like?”

“It feels like coming home.”


End file.
